God's Yellow Pages 1989

I Can See Clearly Now
Saturday morning Sam woke me up by slamming a magazine in my face. "Poppa! My Thomas [the Tank Engine] book [magazine, actually] won't work right! [?]" As I turned over to see how I might be of assistance the corner of the bound edge of the magazine slammed violently into my OPEN eyeball. I yelled at Sam, startled him, and he ran away screaming. (I am clearly a BAD FATHER.) Meanwhile I was left with an eyeball so sore I couldn't open it. Tears ran out like an open faucet. I worried that jelly-ish eye material was oozing out and I would be left with a severely deflated eyeball. When I came to my senses hours later I had a scratchy feeling and a headache. But I'm OK now, thanks for asking.