Dopers Suck

They do, they just do.
Ballad Of The Tour de France, my "Tyler, Floyd and Lance are abducted by the Devil, slightly tortured, then forced to stay in Hell after their flimsy excuses are rejected by The Evil One" folk ballad-y sort of thing.
Seriously. I'm so sick of the lies. After Operacion Puerto or whatever it's called, Tyler has no legs to stand on, let alone ride as a pro. Floyd needs to just stop talking, he's only making it worse. Latest Floyd theory I've seen? That the high T level wasn't so much from a patch, but the by-product of steroids, usually offset by injections of E, so the ratio doesn't get too out of whack and set off the doping alarms. So, it was the masking that the doctor got wrong! Well, that was on the internet, anyway, so it must be true. I'm not a chemist. And Lance? Well...isn't it interesting that he won his lawsuits over the '99 positive samples on procedural and privacy grounds and the issue of WHY they were positive gets shoved under the rug. Oh, and my old hero Greg LeMond needs to stop sputtering his lame-o conspiracy theories. Dude, I looked up to you! I had your 1983 World Champion Gitane poster on my wall. I nearly had a heartattack in 1989! You will always be the first American to win the Tour, don't be jealous of the young guys.
The song is a work of fiction, so there's no reason to sue me, guys.